


Let me count the ways

by redge



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Ficlet, Gen, I promise, mentions of Emma/Neal and Emma/Hook, nothing too bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-16 00:33:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7245055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redge/pseuds/redge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or how the people who love Emma, love her...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let me count the ways

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a verse from "Sonnets from the Portuguese #43" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Emma thinks she will never get used to people loving her. She’s mistaken love before; The Swans, Ingrid, Lily… Enough times to be wary of people professing it. Enough times to believe she must be undeserving of it, perhaps.

Neal loved her like he didn't care about anything other than just being with her, like she was the centre of his world. But Neal, _Baelfire_ , had a knack for changing worlds intermittently and so his brand of love, while honest and intense, was also ephemeral. Neal loved her in passing, like he'd already given up on hoping that it would last and wasn't particularly invested in a future that would most likely be taken away from him, again. A transient love, aimless and fleeting, a dangerous mix of carefree and careless.

Henry, when he first meets her, loves her like she's this perfect, flawless superhero that will save everybody from whatever evilness the world brings. Like she hung the moon and stars, as they say. It's as innocent as it is unfair, but she knows better than most that it's a way to cope with having being abandoned as a baby, so every time he's quick to judge when she fails to live up to his standards, she doesn't hold it against him. He’s grown so much, though. He’s become such a wonderful young man… He’s better now at understanding how to love her, they _both_ are, and he’s the sole reason for Emma opening herself up again to even the possibility of love. He is _her hero_ , and she hopes that one day, when he's older, he will understand in just how many ways he has saved her.

Snow loves her like she’s trying to squeeze together twenty-eight years worth of motherly love into a few months; she tries too hard, too much, too fast, and it’s stifling and makes Emma uncomfortable and, ultimately, guilty. Because Emma has this thing where she always puts others’ feelings before hers, and she wants to make Snow happy, she really does, so when she winces at her mother's shows of affection and notices Snow’s hurt expression, she can’t help but feel guilty. She also feels guilty because sometimes, still, she misses Mary-Margaret, who was cursed but was also her friend. Caring for Mary-Margaret was a lot less complicated than caring for Snow, but Mary-Margaret is gone, replaced, and sometimes Emma mourns her.

David loves her like he’s got something to prove, to make up for. He loves her the way she is, like he’s just grateful for having this second chance and determined to not fail her again. It’s relaxed, in a certain way, but there’s always this feeling of waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop that Emma can generally mute but never completely ignore. Because she can’t forget that David took active part in making decisions that shaped her life, and other people’s lives, in terrible ways, and she will always feel third in line to his devotion: first come Snow and baby Neal – _his real family_ , her mind tends to sullenly supply–; then his subjects, the people of the Enchanted Forest or Storybrooke or whichever place Prince Charming has taken to lead and protect; and then there’s her, Emma supposes, and can’t help but wonder how prominent she will be in his thoughts when the next big disaster comes around and he has to make a difficult choice, again.

Hook loves her like the moon loves the sun, like he needs her light to shine himself, otherwise he only exists in darkness. It’s co-dependent, unhealthy even, but it’s easy because it will always be there and Emma yearns for simplicity when all her life has been a continuous struggle. It is an illusion, however, because the moment she falters, the moment she wavers, the moment she so much as sways, she’s no longer good enough to be his sun.

And while everybody else in her life loves Emma _because_ , Regina loves her _despite_. Despite the circumstances, despite the odds, despite the baggage, despite Emma’s faults and flaws, and even despite herself. Regina never imagined she could, would love Emma Swan. Regina never asked to love her, but she does. And for once it's all right, because it's not a matter of lack of choice as much as it is a matter of inevitability.  
Regina loves her unexpectedly, but unreservedly, because she doesn't know how to love other than _to the depth and breadth and height her soul can reach_.  
Regina loves her like everything is a surprise, like she doesn’t completely believe it is happening, or she’s actually forgotten it’s happening and then she realises it’s not just a beautiful dream or a hopeful notion but her very own happy ending, at last.  
Regina loves _her_.

Emma thinks she will never get used to people loving her. But she knows that Henry has broken the walls that shielded her heart, and Regina has torn them down completely. And she's ok with that. More than ok, really. They're her family and together they learn, counting the ways, discovering new ones, to love and be loved.


End file.
